My name is John Nelson. I met my wife, Diane, 38 years ago when we were both 19 and working together as part of the housekeeping staff at an apartment complex. Our coworkers coaxed us into becoming a couple. Six months later we were planning our wedding. As the day approached, Diane told me that there was something that she needed for me to know before we could get married.
I prepared myself for the worst, but was relieved when she said that she was unable to get pregnant, but didn’t know why. She had never gone through puberty. A few years before, she had had a traumatic visit with her family doctor during which he basically laughed off her condition. He suggested that she was just a “late bloomer” who would “develop” before too long. Nothing to worry about.
I told Diane that I wanted to marry her because I loved her, not because of her ability to have children. We married in 1975. In 1976, I joined the U.S. Air Force. Two years later, I was sent to South Korea to spend a year by myself on a remote tour of duty. During that year Diane came back home to live with her parents. She decided to go see a doctor at the local Navy base and find out why she could not have children. After about 8 months of testing, she was finally given the diagnosis of Turner’s Syndrome.
She was relieved to finally have an answer, but still hesitant to share the information with very many people beyond me. She was placed on hormone therapy and spent the next year going through delayed puberty. Since that time we have made several attempts to adopt, but have been repeatedly frustrated by military reassignments, family crises, and ultimately by the dreaded “you’re too old to adopt”. We have resolved ourselves to sharing our love with each other and our many nieces and nephews.
Within the last 4 or 5 years Diane has become comfortable with learning more about Turner’s, understanding how it affects her, and sharing knowledge of her “condition” with anyone that shows an interest. She is fortunate that she has a milder form of Turner’s, without any of the more extreme characteristics. She is an intelligent woman, with the occasional difficulty with math and a slight heart murmur.
She is the love of my life and I have never been sorry that our paths crossed and merged. This June we will have been married for 37 years. Overall, once we began to understand the how and why behind the effects, the less of an issue Turner’s has been in our lives. It isn't her identity, it's just a medical condition she happens to have.
No comments:
Post a Comment